Saturday, March 27, 2010

A rebuttal is a lie told about a lie.



" Comedy is when even your appearance on the facebook becomes a source of liveliehood for journalists. Tragedy is when you begin to take that as proof of your fame. Farce is when you and the journalist who writes about you engage in media debate which no one reads. Shame is when your rebuttal of a new item about your ... See Moredeath is put in the obituary column. Shocker is when the editor of the newspaper which Reported your death gives a "Correspondence on the subject is closed" note at the bottom of his reporter's version proclaiming , "Despite Mr. --'s denial of the news of his death, we stand by our version of the event. As for ---'s contention that he is still alive, yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai, lallu ?" Melodrama is when you act outraged by anything written about you by journalists. Bathos is when journalsits see conspiracies behind your being upset over their unread reports. Pathos is when they don't see any. Catastrophe is when no one cares to react to media criticism. Foolishness is when you start expecting newspapers to tell you the truth. Mistaken identity is when you read last years' newspapers as today's, and don't notice the difference.Innocence is media's belief that what they have not told has not happened. Crime is not reporting what has not happened. Sufism is when you start reading a scrap of an old newpaper given to you to wipe your nose.Zen is when you blow your nose into the editorial page. Vanity is when media believes that a Media Advisor is appointed to advise his boss on how to respect the media. Disloyalty to the Boss is when the Media Advisor actually starts giving that advice. Presumptuousness is when advisors begin to believe that the leaders who appointed them need their advice. Mirth is when media watch-dogs begin to believe that they own the treasure they protect. Humility is what must never happen to journalist; arrogance is saying this in public . Self-confidence is saying this in public and knowing that you won't be understood. Politics is what journalists wouldn't write about if they understood it (They will then be a part of it.) Polticking is being a journalist and pretending that you don't take sides. Truth is that which runs for cover the moment it sees a journalist. Cover is that which you put exposures on. Freedom of expression is that which a journalist is protected against. (You are free to praise the media) Fourth Estate is that which believes that the other three are either redundant or horrendous or probably both. An editor is a person who has learnt that there is nothing to report anyway and therefore "let's commen on what is not worth reporting." Reporter is one who knows he has nothing to report and even less to comment but will do both with fanfare. An exclusive is that which the other newspapers have not fit to publish . Passion is reading all newspapers to check if each one is telling the same lie. Compassion is writing a "letter to the editor" with the opening sentence invariably reading "Kudos to your .... or .. You have rightly pointed ....Hats off to ...or ..You deserve the gratitude of all countrymen ...".( It is usually done on compassionate grounds in order to ensure that the editor has something to show to both his wife and his employers) "A Letters to the Edior" column is a cathedral wherein you are free to take part in praising the Almighty. A correspondent is one who has mastered the art of one way correspondence. a principal correspondent is has majored in this principle. A special correspondent is one who knows there never ever was anything for anyone to respond to , but if someone dared to, then he will always enough members of the union to behind him to stop the editor from publishing a rebuttal to his story. A rebuttal is a lie told about a lie. A stringer is a man who does all the reporting that the sub-editor is paid to reject. A sub-editor is a person who has been taught by his wife the art of shutting up. A Chief Sub is a person who should been a wife. A news ediotr is a person who makes sure that all the news is edited out of any report. An Associate Editor is a person is a wife who should have been a mistress. The Chairman of the Trust or a governing body of a newspaper is an all powerful wife who desperately wants to be a mistress. And finally, a newspaper is a one way facebook. (MORE -- only if provoked)

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