Being brutally criticised by people who do not understand you is bad enough. But what is even worse are loud endorsements from those who can not understand you -- would in fact kill you if they did . I sometimes wonder how would Einstein have felt if someone like me had gone across to him immediately after his Theory of Relativity had been published, and had shaken his hands with, "Don't worry about those critics, Mr. Einstein. I know what you are saying is right!!!" Einstein or may be Guru Nanak !!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
A man must understand that when his woman fights with him over perceived neglect, she is not necessarily telling him she doesn't love him. In fact, quite often she is quarreling BECAUSE she loves the man, though she does take the quarrel to a point where such a conclusion would be impossible to sustain. But wait. Even a girl who might be about to bleed you with her nails or tear your clothes apart might be trying to tell you something different from what you see in her actions.And don't be surprised if she spurns your conclusion that she hates you and turns around in anger again to tell, "That's all you see in my throwing myself at you, idiot? You must be the most insensitive man I would ever know. You can hear my swearing and you can see my scratches on your body, but you cant see anything else. You can't see how much someone wants to be loved? What a waste? What I a man I have staked such precious sentiments on? Go, please, go." But don't go. She doesn't want you to. She wants you to know why she is angry. She is angry-- too angry -- but she cares.
The only time a man should believe his woman doesn't want him is when she meets him with lethal indifference.Suddenly that shoulder would be death cold, that voice a distant drawl, that look a non-serious gaze into nothing, or perhaps interested more in reading a newspaper she has never cared to look at than in seeing the pain in your eye. It doesn't matter then and , for all one knows, you may be on your death bed: women simply don't care when they don't love.
Its different with men: they care a lot even when they are not in love. Generally speaking, of course. A woman in wrath is only half the fury that she is when she turns cold. Don't dread a woman's fury - that can be handled with love. But woman's indifference? You are a dead man,brother, if that what you are battling to remove. And I have seen some idiots lose a woman's love by neglecting her anger for too long -- only to reach a point where they wished the woman would at least slap them ! Once that point is reached, its no use regretting your blunders: once a woman is lost to the point of her indifference, she is lost.Period. The worst thing that can happen to a man is that a woman should deem him not even worth a quarrel.
And this today? I just went over some old stuff lying with me about a period in which a girl, a brilliant but simple ( read golden) hearted journalist, had fallen madly in love with a man, known to me.The idiot did not realise what had fallen in his lap and kept misbehaving. I kept telling the girl that a day would come when she would grow out of her 'passionate attachment'. She didn't believe me. Like Scarlet O'Hara , she kept saying she was going to love him all her life. I told her that that was the kind of love I believed in -- and thought myself capable of -- but that was notthe kind of love she was born for.
And the reason why I thought it worth a write here is the sudden awareness that I haven't heard from the for almost a year now --earlier, she would call me and talk to me for long hours almost everyday. The last I heard was that the girl is "too engrossed in her life to talk about such silly things." She has found a man whom she does n't love but whom she definitely finds a nice man'. ( I would never want to be a nice man to a girl of her fiery passions. i would either be the object of those passions or dead, never a nice man. Yes, I would be nice to all other women.
Moral: Never push a girl you love to the point of her indifference. When she is angry with you enough to say that she could killl you, tell her you love her and wouldn't mind dying at her hands. That's generally all she wants to hear. But don't say it if you can't be equal to your words later; that will not only dangerous - that will be downright mean.( Plus dangerous too: the girl could really kill you before she decides to turn indifferent.)
I like keeping myself happy with such child-like innocent little indulgences, generally resisting the temptation to look for conspiracies or negative trends in everything around me... there is something about life and nature which compels an attitude of simplicity - taking things on their face value and laughing with every little leaf and petal that flutters on the way .. you may call it a lack of sufficient seriousness or of social responsibility in me, but I am amused even by the so called profound political issues and developments that I am generally at the center of -- I am enjoying being in the middle of dense cross fires everyday, and yet refusing to lose my capacity for fun. I battle as a warrior but smile as a lover and then play and laugh like a little child even with my opponents. Rarely do i make an effort to study closely what our political rivals are doing, but when I have to as a part of my job, then too I find them and heir obsessions quite entertaining, and I am able to laugh both with and at them in the manner of a complete outsider. you might have noticed that even when storms are raging around me, and many of those storms I have to meet head on, I keep myself occupied with issues that have nothing to do with these things. Sometime later, I might write about all this but right now, I am studiously refusing to use any of my personal and social activities such as FB in promoting my own, my government's or my party's interests. It was like this even when I was engaged in those hectic FB discussions -- which I did out of my intellectual convictions rather than my professional compulsions; but I know there will be very few takers for this claim. Neither do i need takers - I enjoyed that phase, and having enjoyed it thoroughly, i have moved on. To do tht now would seem pretty vacuous. You could say that I am in the thick of politics and am yet an outsider: it is a question of how I feel about and conduct myself in my worka nd environ. (In a lighter vien and only if u don't mind, I may be gliding/hrtling (??) towards Lord Krishan's ideal of detached involvement. When i see many of my ex-detractors fretting and fuming with one another and with others, I feel a sense of loss even regarding them, though they may neither realise it nor agree with me on this. I brought it up only because i know you will understnd this, and that matters a lot to me. Our own equation has been a major gain for me personally over the past couple of years or so......we will talk sometime later, got to attend to some routine issue that jut cropped up at work (Yes, sir, we are at work still.) Love and regards...
about an hour ago · Like · 1
DrNirmal S Dhallu I agree that one has to keep the balance in life. For me also FB provides welcome stress relief from high risk environment of futures trading. Most of the time my comments are on the lighter side of life than the serious .......
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Girls are stronger than boys, and possess a more steely spirit than most of our famed male icons of strength do.
दहकते गालों की , चहकते फूलों की /
महकी हवाओं की , रसीली घटाओं की /
सरसराते पत्तों की , मुस्कुराते बच्चों की /
बे-वजह मुस्कान की , ये तोतली ज़ुबान की /
छोटी छोटी बातों की , सुबहा-ओ-शाम और रातों की /
रूठे मनाने की , बहाने बनाने की /
अपने बेगानों में , जाने अनजानों में /
ये कैसे रिश्ते उभरे हैं , ये कैसे दर्पण निखरे हैं /
कुछ कहने की , कुछ सुनने की /
कुछ शब्द ओ निशब्द बुनने की /
हर पल,हर दिन,और हर रात , चलती है मासूम बात/
कुछ नई दुनिया की पूर्व में जो लाली छा रही/
कुछ नए मासूम रिश्तों की जो रिमझिम गा रही/
है नई दुनिया की हलचल , घर पुराना है तो क्या/
हूँ सभी का मैं जो हर कोई बेगाना है तो क्या/ --- ( Hindi transcription by none other than Harman. Thanks, Harman )
Facebook wisecracks -The only way you can expect some people to say something nice about anything is through an oversight.
Among the politician, the press and the bureaucrat.
ਮੈਨੂੰ ਕੁਦਰਤ ਨੇ ਹੀ ਬਖਸ਼ 'ਤੀ , ਸੀ ਇੱਕ ਅੱਖ ਰੰਗੀਨ /
ਚੋਲਾ ਸੱਤ ਰੰਗਾ ਪੀਂਘ ਜਿਓਂ , ਕੋਈ ਝੂਟੇ ਸਾਉਣ ਮਹੀਨ /
ਓਹਨੂੰ ਪਹਿਨ ਪਹਿਨ ਨਹੀਂ ਰੱਜਦਾ , ਦਿਲ ਡਾਢਾ ਮੇਰਾ ਸ਼ੌਕੀਨ /
ਹੈ ਇਸ਼ਕੇ ਦਾ ਰੰਗ ਚਾੜ੍ਹਿਆ , ਅਸੀਂ ਸਾਹਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਪਰਵੀਨ /
ਘਿਰੀ ਰੰਗ ਰੰਗੀਲੇ ਚਿਹਰਿਆਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਧਰਤੀ ਅੱਜ ਹਸੀਨ /
ਆ ਤੂੰ ਵੀ ਸਾਨੂੰ ਬਖਸ਼ ਦੇ ਕੋਈ ਆਪਣਾ ਰੰਗ ਨਵੀਨ /
ਜਾ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੇ ਮੇਚ ਦੀ ਕੋਈ ਰੰਗਲੀ ਅਕਲ ਬੀਨ /
ਜੀਹਨੂੰ ਸੁਣ ਕੇ ਸ਼ੇਹਿਨਸ਼ਾਹ ਵੀ ਚੱਕ ਲਏ ਆਸ਼ਿਕ਼ੀ ਬੀਨ /
ਸਾਹਾਂ ਦੇ ਵਿੱਚ ਘੋਲ ਕੇ ਕੋਈ ਬ੍ਰਿੰਦਾਵਨ ਹਸੀਨ /
ਬੁੱਲ੍ਹਾਂ 'ਤੇ ਰੱਖ ਵੰਝਲੀ ਜਾਂ ਜੋਗੀ ਦੀ ਬੀਨ /
ਤੇ ਚੱਲ ਪਏ ਤਖ਼ਤ ਹਜ਼ਾਰਿਓਂ ਇੱਕ ਨਵਾਂ ਇਲਾਹੀ ਦੀਨ /
ਹਰ ਗਾਜ਼ੀ ਗੋਹਰ ਇਸ਼ਕ ਦਾ , ਮਾਸ਼ੂਕਾ ਹਰ ਨਗੀਨ /
ਆ ਪੰਥ ਚਲਾਈਏ ਜਗਤ ਵਿੱਚ , ਇੱਕ ਤਾਜ਼ਾ ਅਤੇ ਤਰੀਨ /
ਆਗਿਆ ਲੈ ਅਕਾਲ ਤੋਂ , ਇਹਦਾ ਪਰਚਮ ਰੰਗ ਰੰਗੀਨ /
ਰੰਗ ਹੋਵੇ ਹਰ ਇੱਕ ਚਸ਼ਮ ਦਾ , ਜੇ ਐਸਾ ਮਸਤ ਹਸੀਨ /
ਤਾਂ ਹਰ ਦਿਨ ਹੋਵੇ ਰੰਗਲਾ , ਹਰ ਰਾਤ ਹੋਵੇ ਰੰਗੀਨ /
ਇੱਕ ਦੂਰ ਰਬਾਬ ਪਈ ਵੱਜਦੀ , ਕੋਈ ਗਾਉਂਦਾ ਆਸ਼ਿਕ ਪੀਰ /
ਓਹਦੀ ਅੱਖਾਂ ਦੀ ਮਦਮਸਤੀ , ਤੈਨੂੰ 'ਵਾਜਾਂ ਮਾਰੇ ਹੀਰ /
ਓਹਦੇ ਨੈਣੀਂ ਸਰਵਰ ਤੈਰਦੇ , ਤੂੰ ਸੋਹਣੀਏ ਬੰਨ੍ਹ ਲੈ ਧੀਰ /
ਓਹਦੇ ਅੱਖ ਦੀ ਕਿਰਨ ਹੈ ਸਾਹਿਬਾ , ਮਿਰਜ਼ੇ ਦਾ ਅੰਬਰੀਂ ਤੀਰ /
ਤੂੰ ਕਮਲੀ ਬਣ 'ਜਾ ਓਸਦੀ , ਅੱਜ ਹੋ ਕੇ ਬੇਪਰਵਾਹ /
ਫਿਰ ਏਕ ਓਂਕਾਰੀ ਅੱਖ ਨਾਲ ਤੂੰ ਝਲਕ ਰਾਂਝਣ ਦੀ ਪਾ /
ਹੇ ਨੂਰਾਂ, ਹੇ ਧਰਤੀ ਜਾਈ , ਭਰ ਜੋਬਨ ਮੁਟਿਆਰ /
ਹੇ ਅੰਬਰੀਨਾ, ਗਗਨ ਪਰੀ, ਹੇ ਹੰਸਾਂ ਦੀ ਡਾਰ /
ਹੇ ਮਾਂ ਦੇ ਸੀਨੇ ਦੀ ਧੜਕਨ , ਹੇ ਇਸ਼ਕੇ ਦੀ ਤਾਰ /
ਹੇ ਬਾਬੇ ਦੀ ਬਾਣੀ ਦੀ ਰੂਹ, ਗੋਬਿੰਦ ਦੀ ਤਲਵਾਰ /
ਸੰਖ ਨਾਦ ਕਾਂਸੀ ਮਥੁਰਾ ਦਾ , ਕਾਬੇ ਦੀ ਕੋਈ ਅਜ਼ਾਨ /
ਪਰਬਤ ਤੇ ਉਪਦੇਸ਼ ਉਚਰਿਆ , ਜਾਂ ਗੀਤਾ ਦਾ ਗਿਆਨ /
ਜ਼ਹਿਰ ਪਿਆਲੇ ਵਿਚੋਂ ਵਗਦਾ ਇਸ਼ਕੇ ਦਾ ਪ੍ਰਵਾਹ /
ਜੀਹਨੂੰ ਪੀ ਕੇ ਨੂਰਾਂ ਸੋਹਣੀਏ , ਤੂੰ ਹੋ ਜਾ ਬੇ-ਪ੍ਰਵਾਹ /
ਸੋ ਰੰਗਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਡੁੱਬ ਕੇ ਇਕ ਨਵਾਂ ਰੰਗ ਬਣ ਜਾ /
ਕੋਈ ਨਵਾਂ ਸੰਖ ਬਣ ਜਾ , ਕੋਈ ਨਵਾਂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਬਣ ਜਾ /