Sunday, October 31, 2010

Hard Core Hindu Girl as Cleopatra


Harcharan Bains November 1 at 12:53am
Interesting. But Sumy -- what an adorable name !-- how could so completely a fine person like you seem to be ever think of becoming hard -core in religious beliefs. You very beautiful summed your bio up as "I am Cleopatra", ( We all knwo what a strong and lovable person Cleopatra was ) and that description sits well on you -- you deserve to say that abotu yourself. But just a little interruption, Sumi, if you don't mind. No Hindu, who is true to Gita and Lord Krishan and Lord Ram can ever be accused of being hard core. You seem too fine a person to accuse yourself of that. Please have a re-look. I think what you honestly meant was that you have a strong faith in the Hindu way of lfie -- even I have that, though I am not a Hindu. Most of my dearest friends are Hindus, and they are all peictures of liberal conduct l, and we have a great time together. I am sure even you will rise to touch the high moral and spiritual stature that Hinduism sets for its followers. Read Swami Vivekananad or Dr. Radhakrishanan, or any other enlightened soul, and you wil find enough reason to be proud of the liberal legacy of this great religion. I salute your future as a truly liberated soul, uncluttered by any narrow definitions either about your own self or about your great religion. I have reason to believe that you will make your parents and friends proud by turning out to be an elnlightened individual, diffrent from the ordinary people.And of course, I will always be happy to talk to you, on this or any other issue.

Arundhati, Kashmir, India and I

@ Dilbagh Singh:There will always be some people in this wide world who would confuse oddity with originality, and self-righteous arrogance with outspoken truthfulness. Arundhati I consider one such blessed soul. Regardless of what she say...s, ...I do not really think hers are the best credentials to express any serious opinion on Kashmir. Her support for a cause whose complexities she does not even appear to understand is as irrelevant to the issue and as meaningless as my support for any seditious movement in say China or Argentina would be. But relax, we live in a democracy and her free remark tells me more about the tolerant nature of my country than about her or the cause she professes support for . That said , I am proud that only an Indian could speak such bold though inane words. God bless her. I will by praying for her.See More

Arundhati, Kashmir, India and I

@ Dilbagh Singh:There will always be some people in this wide world who would confuse oddity with originality, and self-righteous arrogance with outspoken truthfulness. Arundhati I consider one such blessed soul. Regardless of what she say...s, ...I do not really think hers are the best credentials to express any serious opinion on Kashmir. Her support for a cause whose complexities she does not even appear to understand is as irrelevant to the issue and as meaningless as my support for any seditious movement in say China or Argentina would be. But relax, we live in a democracy and her free remark tells me more about the tolerant nature of my country than about her or the cause she professes support for . That said , I am proud that only an Indian could speak such bold though inane words. God bless her. I will by praying for her.See More

Hazel (ed)To someone come from the past for a brief glimpse ..

Would be happy if we could stay in touch, but I wouldn't push things too hard. Never did. I always believed in exercising my right to put in my case, and always respected the other person's right to accpet or reject that. Its been an honourable deal, and I look back at a life which does not reveal much dishonesty or pain inflicted on others. Must have been dead wrong at many places, but have always tried to pull back and rectify -- always had this in mind: will my mother forgive me if I cheated on someone? She never would , and although I was lucky enough to have a helluv a good life, it was largely free from any need for lying. HAve a great time with dear hubby. Wish u all luck and happiness in life. See if you could let me know when you are back.

HAZEL: To someone come from the past for a brief glimpse ..

Would be happy if we could stay in touch, but I wouldn't push things too hard. Never did. I always believed in exercising my right to put in my case, and always respected the other person's right to accpet or reject that. Its been an honourable deal, and I look back at a life which does not reveal much dishonesty or pain inflicted on others. Must have been dead wrong at many places, but have always tried to pull back and rectify -- always had this in mind: will my mother forgive me if I cheated on someone? She never would , and although I was lucky enough to have a helluv a good life, it was largely free from any need for lying. HAve a great time with dear hubby. Wish u all luck and happiness in life. See if you could let me know when you are back.

Hazel (ed) hese words could humble a God

"A man who hates or inuslts another's religion does not know enough even about his own:" -- From my diary when I was a teacher at Baring Union Christian College, Batala. (Yes, Shiv Ku

To Harman Bhullar: Now, Harman, these words would've been enough to humble a God, leave aside an ordinary mortal like me. For the rest of my life, I will be searching for the right words to express my gratitude to you.mar's Batala.)

Friday, October 29, 2010

For Hazel:"Humility that could make the adversary's aggression look ridiculously irrelevant....

Grace and disgrace are issues you settle with your own conscience: from my diary in early youth
by Harcharan Bains on Friday, October 29, 2010 at 12:05pm
ALL THAT I WROTE AND WRITE ABOUT SAINTS IS IN FACT ABOUT MY MOTHER. SHE HAD NEVER HAD ANY AMBITIONS ABOUT PROFESSIONAL CAREER OR MONETARY AMBITIONS FOR ME. SHE WAS WHAT SOMEONE HAS CALLED "A GOD INTOXICATED PERSON."

MY MOTHER TALKED TO ME ONLY ONCE ABOUT WHAT SHE WOULD LIKE ME TO BECOME IN LIFE, AND THIS IS WHAT SHE HAD SAID:" .

........."IT IS YOUR CALL, SON. I WILL BE AS HAPPY AND PROUD IF YOU LABOUR WITH HONESTY ON OTHER PEOPLE'S FIELDS AS I WOULD BE IF YOU BECOME AN HONEST PRIME MINSITER OF THE COUNTRY.NO WORK --WHETHER THAT OF A SCAVENGER OR LABOURER OR A CLERK OR ANY OTHER -- IS TOO PETTY FOR YOU AND THERE IS NO DISGRACE ATTACHED TO ANY TYPE OF WORK. THERE IS ONLY HONOUR AND THERE IS ONLY PRIDE IN WHATEVER WORK YOU TAKE UP WITH HONESTY. I WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF YOU WHEN YOU COME HOME TIRED AND PERHAPS DEFEATED BUT NOT DISGRACED BY DISHONESTY. IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS PRIDE INTACT IN YOUR MOTHER'S HEART, JUST STAY HONEST TO WHATEVER YOU DO. THERE IS PRIDE ONLY IN HONESTY AND TRUTH AND HARD WORK. GREED, VANITY LUST AND FALSEHOOD ARE THE ONLY DISGRACE TO OUR SOUL. AND ABOVE ALL, NEVER ALLOW LOVE IN YOUR HEART TO VANISH. THIS IS OUR ONLY CONNECT TO THE UNIVERSE AND THEREFORE TO GOD. "

THE REST OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN A STRUGGLE TO BE WORTHY OF MY MOTHER. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NOT ALWAYS SUCCEEDED.

Here is ANOTHER entry in my diary from thsoe days. The background to the note was incident in our family that had a profound influence on my psyche for the rest of my lfie. We had fallen on bad days and my father had been cheated of what would today be an estate for a prince to be proud of. We faced days when we didn't know where our next meal was coming from. I never saw any frowns or anxiety on my mother's forehead during these days of extreme poverty and helpless, because of which we lost one of our sisters to an illness we didn't ahve the money to buy a cure for. But Mother, who sobbed secretly at this grievous loss, calmly piloted us through the rough weather as my father fretted and almost lost his sanity because of the shock of the loss.But she loved him back to sound physical and mental health.

Those days, one of the persons who had cheated my father and was very proud of having done that had decided to rub salt into the wounds of our family and had come to our house to offer help. My father nearly shot him. But my mother intervened and even said she would accept a token help ( Rs 50 ) from him since, as she said, " he had come with pious intentions. We do not turn away anyone from our door." This was heart-rending, especially as I knew that mother would never use even a single paisa (old paise those days) of the money that did not come our way through our honest work.I wrote this late that night: (in Punjabi, which later translated into English)

"She has not made her identity a slave to vanity, nor has she allowed her vision to be so blurred as to lose the distinction between true moral dignity and false ego. What she is achieving is a success in bringing to human form all the values and feelings and ideas that the thought of God inspires in me (us) . what she is truly expressing is the courage to help her detractors have a shot at greatness. She is actually allowing her detractor to rise in his own esteem. In doing so, she is sacrificing her temprorary sense of what others call "self-esteem" but what she views merely as "vanity". She would not allow that vanity to come in the way of her providing her opponent a platform to exercise and exhibit his greatness , his generosity. She is in fact making it possible for the good in him to come forth, even at the expense of her own perceived dignity. Quite often our ability to accept the enemy's grace is a more true measure of the magnitude of our character than our courage to fight him."

A few more lines were added to it the next morning. I expanded those into a facebook note some time back. I have taken the liberty of altering its context to make it more generally applicable. But the substance, the facts and the meaning remain untouched.
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Hazel ed - A Peak too high ...

Harcharan Bains Jugraj Dhillon Sohi: You just won't realsie what a great compliment you just paid me. I wouldn't mind dying a thousand times over to deserve it.



o Aneet to HB: This is with reference to the news item in in HT regarding ur globe trotting capacity in ur official car innumerable times. Please pay heed to the advice offered by the following urdu couplet.Daaman gar hai saaf to khaas ehtiyat rakhisse zaraa sa bhi daagh chhupaya na jayega .

HB to Aneet: Thanks for the advice. I take it in all seriousness and sincerity, even if it could mean a cut down on efficiency. Friends and the way they feel are more important assets than any job or status.
As for the daag and daaman,

"Daag daaman pe nahin, dil pe liya hai maine"..... incomparable Sahir

Aneet to HB: Rarely we encounter public figures like urself, having such high levels of acceptability, who can take all their critcs in their stride. Allegations are part and parcel of the package which one gets by virtue of being in high office. ...Interaction with u since past 2-3 months has been every bit of a learning experience with humility being one of the core values which i wud like to imbibe from u. I think u are one of the few people i have encountered for whom the following lines of Kipling's poem 'If' are very relevant to a great extent. How far? I think u are a better judge.If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;And for cutting down on efficiency, please dont do that as already their are a bunch of inefficient people in the govt. machinery. Efficient people are a in minority.

HB to Aneet: Its a tribute to my mother and no disgrace to me that I have not always succeeded. For instance, you would have been happy to see me turn to a life of completely ascetic discipline. She would have been happy to see me immersed in meditation. She would have been even happier if I could render soul melodies in Gurbani and live up to those divine words.

I achieved quite a few of the things she wanted me to. Uncompressing honesty and integrity in my dealings with people, bridling my greed in, working on my temperament to learn to retain my poise and calm even in even in the midst of extreme adversity, refusal to be drawn into hate race, building a capacity to love almost everything I see, everyone I meet -- regardless of what that person does to me. I have faltered many a time even in these, but have always been able to pull myself up and retain the equilibrium so necessary for sane and compassionate approach to life and people.

My failings would of course outnumber my strengths, but I have never let go of my dream to be a better, cleaner, more loving and more caring person . It may have remained only a dream, but I a cherished dream, the one that I have always considered worth a pursuit and have always pursued.

I have worked on the pitfalls of being opinionated, close minded, and prejudiced. I have treated communalism as a disease that must be fought and defeated by all of us.

All this is a legacy of my parents, especially my mother -- my father could aggressive and assertive ( not , never in front of my mother though, because her humility and kindness did not permit anyone to remain aggressive and yet look sufficiently human)

All my life I have chased these dreams, but my weaknesses have kept me away from a complete fulfillment of that. Now I am pursuing another dream: I want my son to get closer to living up to his grandmother's ideals than I have been able to. I keep telling him that bringing up an honest and loving grandchild for her is the best finest tribute I can pay my mother.

Luckily for me, despite his own weaknesses ( different from mine) , he appears well on course.

o Aneet to HB: (FB October 29, 2010) Rarely we encounter public figures like urself, having such high levels of acceptability, who can take all their critcs in their stride. Allegations are part and parcel of the package which one gets by virtue of being in high office. ...Interaction with u since past 2-3 months has been every bit of a learning experience with humility being one of the core values which i wud like to imbibe from u. I think u are one of the few people i have encountered for whom the following lines of Kipling's poem 'If' are very relevant to a great extent. How far? I think u are a better judge.If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;And for cutting down on efficiency, please dont do that as already their are a bunch of inefficient people in the govt. machinery. Efficient people are a in minority.
o Aneet: Kipling's ideal , as expressed in these words, is a peak too high for me. But yes, I wouldn't be a liar and say that I do not even try to get closer to it. I think I will be presumptuous enough to lay claim to some claim on the first ...two lines......but lines three and four? God, both friends and foes can hurt me ( though not embitter me) and all men count with me, and all too much. ( Some too, too much and a few of them, just too, too too much) But I do feel an undercurrent of love for everyone, even those I have to fight against. But how shall I thank you Aneet for the extremely kind words you ahve used for me. Humility? Don't you think I keep reacting, every now and then, with some bit of intellectual arorgance? But you think I don't, then that's high praise, something I will always like to work at to be worthy of your words. Thanks( from the core of my heart) and very high reagrds.but lines three and four? God, both friends and foes can hurt me ( though not embitter me) and all men count with me, and all too much. ( Some too, too much and a few of them, just too, too too much) But I do feel an undercurrent of love for everyone, even those I have to fight against. But how shall I thank you Aneet for the extremely kind words you ahve used for me. Humility? Don't you think I keep reacting, every now and then, with some bit of intellectual arorgance? But you think I don't, then that's high praise, something I will always like to work at to be worthy of your words. Thanks( from the core of my heart) and very high reagrds. Kipling's ideal , as expressed in these words, is peak too high for me. But yes, I wouldn't be a liar and say that I do not even try to get closer to it. I think I will be presumptuous enough to lay claim to some claim on the firs two lines......but lines three and four? God, both friends and foes can hurt me ( though not embitter me) and all men count with me, and all too much. ( Some too, too much and a few of them, just too, too too much) But I do feel an undercurrent of love for everyone, even those I have to fight against.
o
o But how shall I thank you Aneet for the extremely kind words you have used for me. Humility? Don't you think I keep reacting, every now and then, with some bit of intellectual arrogance? But you think I don't, then that's high praise, something I will always like to work at to be worthy of your words. Thanks( from the core of my heart) and very high regard
o God, both friends and foes can hurt me ( though not embitter me) and all men count with me, and all too much. ( Some too, too much and a few of them, just too, too too much) But I do feel an undercurrent of love for everyone, even those I have to fight against. But how shall I thank you Aneet for the extremely kind words you ahve used for me. Humility? Don't you think I keep reacting, every now and then, with some bit of intellectual arorgance? But you think I don't, then that's high praise, something I will always like to work at to be worthy of your words. Thanks( from the core of my heart) and very high reagrds. God, both friends and foes can hurt me ( though not embitter me) and all men count with me, and all too much. ( Some too, too much and a few of them, just too, too too much) But I do feel an undercurrent of love for everyone, even those I have to fight against. But how shall I thank you Aneet for the extremely kind words you ahve used for me. Humility? Don't you think I keep reacting, every now and then, with some bit of intellectual arorgance? But you think I don't, then that's high praise, something I will always like to work at to be worthy of your words. Thanks( from the core of my heart) and very high reagrds.
o

Hazel :Chasing a mountain too high for dreams.....

Aneet to Harcharan Bians October 29: You say " Unfotunately, I ahve not always succeeded" in remaining rue to the dreams cherished by your mother. Why?
Aneet: Its a tribute to my mother and no disgrace to me that I have not always succeeded. For instance, you would have been happy to see me turn to a life of completely ascetic discipline. She would have been happy to see me immersed in meditation. She would have been even happier if I could render soul melodies in Gurbani and live up to those divine words.

I achieved quite a few of the things she wanted me to. Uncompressing honesty and integrity in my dealings with people, bridling my greed in, working on my temperament to learn to retain my poise and calm even in even in the midst of extreme adversity, refusal to be drawn into hate race, building a capacity to love almost everything I see, everyone I meet -- regardless of what that person does to me. I have faltered many a time even in these, but have always been able to pull myself up and retain the equilibrium so necessary for sane and compassionate approach to life and people.

My failings would of course outnumber my strengths, but I have never let go of my dream to be a better, cleaner, more loving and more caring person . It may have remained only a dream, but I a cherished dream, the one that I have always considered worth a pursuit and have always pursued.

I have worked on the pitfalls of being opinionated, close minded, and prejudiced. I have treated communalism as a disease that must be fought and defeated by all of us.

All this is a legacy of my parents, especially my mother -- my father could aggressive and assertive ( not , never in front of my mother though, because her humility and kindness did not permit anyone to remain aggressive and yet look sufficiently human)

All my life I have chased these dreams, but my weaknesses have kept me away from a complete fulfillment of that. Now I am pursuing another dream: I want my son to get closer to living up to his grandmother's ideals than I have been able to. I keep telling him that bringing up an honest and loving grandchild for her is the best finest tribute I can pay my mother.

Luckily for me, despite his own weaknesses ( different from mine) , he appears well on course.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hazel's son on the day of judgement

‎"When all has been spoken and heard against my vulnerable soul in God's presence, I would dread nothing more than the spectacle of a friend in the judge's chair, " said Hazel's son to his friend after he had recovered from a deep hurt. He had breakfast with this friend that morning, and his thoughts ran to someone breaking bread at what turned out to be the famous last supper.

Then, he rose slowly and whispered: The fountains of love, comapssion and forgiveness, if I have any inside me, will never cease. If I don't have them in me, I will borrow them from everyone who has."

"Hatred and anger will breed hatred and anger. If you want love and want others to behave in a civilised and decent way, the only option available to you is to set an example."