Friday, October 29, 2010

Hazel :Chasing a mountain too high for dreams.....

Aneet to Harcharan Bians October 29: You say " Unfotunately, I ahve not always succeeded" in remaining rue to the dreams cherished by your mother. Why?
Aneet: Its a tribute to my mother and no disgrace to me that I have not always succeeded. For instance, you would have been happy to see me turn to a life of completely ascetic discipline. She would have been happy to see me immersed in meditation. She would have been even happier if I could render soul melodies in Gurbani and live up to those divine words.

I achieved quite a few of the things she wanted me to. Uncompressing honesty and integrity in my dealings with people, bridling my greed in, working on my temperament to learn to retain my poise and calm even in even in the midst of extreme adversity, refusal to be drawn into hate race, building a capacity to love almost everything I see, everyone I meet -- regardless of what that person does to me. I have faltered many a time even in these, but have always been able to pull myself up and retain the equilibrium so necessary for sane and compassionate approach to life and people.

My failings would of course outnumber my strengths, but I have never let go of my dream to be a better, cleaner, more loving and more caring person . It may have remained only a dream, but I a cherished dream, the one that I have always considered worth a pursuit and have always pursued.

I have worked on the pitfalls of being opinionated, close minded, and prejudiced. I have treated communalism as a disease that must be fought and defeated by all of us.

All this is a legacy of my parents, especially my mother -- my father could aggressive and assertive ( not , never in front of my mother though, because her humility and kindness did not permit anyone to remain aggressive and yet look sufficiently human)

All my life I have chased these dreams, but my weaknesses have kept me away from a complete fulfillment of that. Now I am pursuing another dream: I want my son to get closer to living up to his grandmother's ideals than I have been able to. I keep telling him that bringing up an honest and loving grandchild for her is the best finest tribute I can pay my mother.

Luckily for me, despite his own weaknesses ( different from mine) , he appears well on course.

No comments: