Teachers, students and lovers

Harminder Singh Mashiana

I have the highest respect (most likely as everybody does, who interacted with Prof Bains in 1980's) for both his helping attitude and intellect. At PAU, he was one of the very few loving Profs by students. Dear Prof, you may have forgotten when there was no body to help me, a fist year college student in 1984 from a very difficult situation, imagine the environment, Punjab police those days, he reached out without asking and used his personal power (humanistic) to help a fellow human being (happened to be his student). Without his help I could have received a punishment way greater than what I deserved for whatever I did wrong at that time.
My political views are against both the ruling Akali party, (whose

media advisor, very powerful position, he happened to be) and Congress party but this does not affect my respect for Prof. Bains.

Vigilante Punjab

Bains Sahib, the hostility is towards govt. since nobody else is on facebook. and frankly nobody else would have endured or cared to go through what you do daily(I admire you for taking heat..ANd I think I do a good job at that...i.e...letting you know what is on my mind..and I also think it's fair(letting you know about the misgivings of this govt.) since you are on duty 24 hours representing govt..I think you also know that we should be doing much better..Akalies should do better than any other party due to our(I am Akali.. just not the Sad(b)type..these days) rich heritage.. ).the way punjab is being runied gives us heart burns..I know our people have also shown decline in morality and SAD should not be blamed solely but It should be akalies showing leadership and bringing us back from 'has beens'

... I think you are one of the 'few good men' left in Akali politics...but that is sad situation. leadership should have unblimished character and conviction ..everybody should do their best to restore our glory

• Harcharan Bains

  VP: Its so nice and kind of you to say all those nice things about me and generally about Akali culture. Believe me I am not the only in Mr. Badal's close circle to be worried about the general decline in polity. But I am sure that as one who understand both politics and social philosophy, you would appreciate that its not really so simple to cut through this maze, even given the best of intentions. May be one of the reasons why i have enjoyed such close proximity with Mr. Badal for over three decades now could be that in all these thirty years, I have never even once allowed him or anyone in the party or the government to extend any personal help to me or my family, even in the most difficult of circumstances, like extreme poverty { I know some people won't believe that !! because I belong to a relatively "big" (sic !) and well known family -- or a family that was once big and well known. }
  
  But that is only part of the reason, or so I believe at least. This is the way I look at it: Mr. Badal may not always have done all that was necessary to be done to bring about transparency in public life, but I have never found him short on pious sentiments, ideals for a better Punjab and cleaner polity -- and within the constraints imposed by the system, he has been trying to do much of what is possible -- and he sets high standards in commitment, hard work, genuine compassion for the common people, especially the poor ( believe me I am not doing any PR here and am speaking to you from the core of my heart; in any case, I consider you too intellgent for such PR to work) - and ensuring decorum, simplicity and some degree of transparency in governance. And he is at heart a true democrat , perhaps the only I know in public life.

  about an hour ago · · 1 person
• 

  Harcharan Bains

  VP: Its so nice and kind of you to say all those nice things about me and generally about Akali culture. Believe me I am not the only in Mr. Badal's close circle to be worried about the general decline in polity. But I am sure that as one who understand both politics and social philosophy, you would appreciate that its not really so simple to cut through this maze, even given the best of intentions. May be one of the reasons why i have enjoyed such close proximity with Mr. Badal for over three decades now could be that in all these thirty years, I have never even once allowed him or anyone in the party or the government to extend any personal help to me or my family, even in the most difficult of circumstances, like extreme poverty { I know some people won't believe that !! because I belong to a relatively "big" (sic !) and well known family -- or a family that was once big and well known. }
  
  But that is only part of the reason, or so I believe at least. This is the way I look at it: Mr. Badal may not always have done all that was necessary to be done to bring about transparency in public life, but I have never found him short on pious sentiments, ideals for a better Punjab and cleaner polity -- and within the constraints imposed by the system, he has been trying to do much of what is possible -- and he sets high standards in commitment, hard work, genuine compassion for the common people, especially the poor ( believe me I am not doing any PR here and am speaking to you from the core of my heart; in any case, I consider you too intellgent for such PR to work) - and ensuring decorum, simplicity and some degree of transparency in governance. And he is at heart a true democrat , perhaps the only I know in public life.
  

  
  Harcharan Bains

  Vigilante Punjab: VP: And yet I agree with you that there is a lot that is left to be desired. And I share almost all of your concerns and also genuinely believe that your words flow more from anguish than anger. I wish I could sit with you some day and talk at greater length about what should be done - and how - within the given parameters.
  
  I will refrain from sayng anything about Sukhbir and Manpreet here because I am aware of the strong views you have on both. And i totally respect those. Plus, i am willing to wait for the final verdict of history on Sukhbir -- and even more so on Manpreet. I am as likely to be wrong as anyone else, but there are things about both that I know and very others do. So I am willing to take a chance with Sukhbir who , allow me to say so, still represents the best hope for a forward looking modern Punjab. There are issues regarding him and I am hoping that time and experience will take care of those. i ahve seen him grow incredibly over the past ten years. One thing he is not is: hypocrite.
  But we ahve agreed to disagree on him and both you and I can always exercise our freedom of expression without hurting our mutual feelings and respect.
  You are among the select number of persons I am willing to bet the future of Punjab on. Jasdeep is another. There are some others too, who are not directly active with political views but who symbolise Punajb's future more forcefully than I do. There is a guy called Pukhraj. He has set my imagination on fire and forced me to dare to entertain a hope about our people. Poet Harman, a modest, self effacing young lad, is another. There are quite a few other stars in formation on the new skies. We will be seeing and hearing a lot more about them in years to come -- hopefully for all the right reasons. Many of them have anything to do with politics at ths stage. But politics is not the only way to change life, although I agree it is a major component of our social lives.
  
  And I see nothing wrong with your passionate espousal of Manpreet. After all, he deserves to be tested out --and there is time enough time left to bring the truth about both him and Sukhbir out in the open. Trust Time.
  
  Is it possible to meet some time? How often do you come to India ?Now don't blame me if I end up calling you only VP -- at the expense of warm personal forms of address -- all our lives.
  
  Again, i am so obliged to you for enriching my view of life.

  
  

  47 minutes ago ·
• 

  Harcharan Bains Aneet: Yes, and thanks, and also thanks all the more for sending me bribes that vigilance has no powers to stop, not even the eyes to see.!!

  43 minutes ago ·
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  Harcharan Bains

  Harminder Mansaiah: For one little good deed, such massive recompense so many years into the future! Who would want to exchange this with any other possession in life. Over the past few weeks, my students on Facebook have conspired to defeat my guilt over not being a success as a teacher. They have placed multiple universes in my lap , and I don't even know how to thank them for such immortal reward -- much less repay them. I was thrown out of five colleges because of my love for my students , something the authorities always found "subversive and against the rules", . I recall that when I was interviewed for the post of an Assistant Porfessor in PAU, dr M L Raina had asked me, "Young man, what explains your dismissal from these colleges?" And I had replied without batting an eye lid:"My love for what is central to my job." And he asked me with a an almost knowing smile, "And what is that, please?" And I replied, "Students." Prof Raina then said, "And keeps you in this profession despite these set backs?" And I again said: "The reason behind these set backs -- students." And then this followed:
  
  Prof Raina: "Anything else you would like to offer as a reason why we must select you over better qualified competitors ?" ( There were several far moe experienced and highly qualified applicants there, whereas I had a simple Masters degree to show -- plus a certificate from my college principal whom I used to trouble a lot as a student. it said about me " amazing sensibility and an extraordinarily critical mind. I should be forced to remain to remain in the profession of teaching." That was Princnipal S S Chawla, a known authority on Shakespeare , our principal at Govt College Hoshiarpur.
  
  Prf Hazara Singh, who was also present in that interview, asked me: "What proof would you give us that you love your students?"
  
  And I said: "Wait till you throw me out -- that is if you select me in the first place."
  
  I was selected and put at the top of the list.
  
  Interestingly, one of my competitors at that interview was close to Mr. Badal and was rumoured to have carried a strong recommendation from Jagdev Singh Talwandi also.
  
  I once teased Mr. Badal about this incident. And he smiled back : "Kakaji, I wanted to give you a recommendation for your present post !"
  
  Life is really a funny thing -- when it is not tragic !!
  
  Thanks Harminder for reminding of the wonderful moments we spent together at the PAU. And for sending me on this nostalgic trip.

  19 minutes ago ·

  
  

Bribes, favours, power and politics.. and a little bit of love and honesty....(reproducing an Exchange to widen d debate)

by Harcharan Bains on Sunday, February 27, 2011 at 3:52am

This excahnge among Shashi Samundra ji , Navtej gill and me brought back to me the question of why is there such hostility towards people holding even a powerless though high profile position like mine. I thouht I might invite friends views and reactions to get a more reliable clue to understanding this phenomenon. ( This is being reproduced here with due apologies to Shash ji and Navtej , on the flimsy excuse that the exchange is already in public domain , having been conducted on facebook. Neverthelss, I do pray that Shshi ji and Navtej Gll ( both of whom don't personally or know only as much as they know me -- through Facebook.) would not take unkindly to my act.

ਨਵਤੇਜ ਸਿੱਧੂ

Mr. Bains, I just started to know you a bit and I feel the pain you have in these songs...tum bin jiwan kise bita... and please do tell about your fetish with Vahida Rehman, one of these days....

BTW: until yesterday I had no idea who you we...re... saw that news paper stuff and come to realize who I been talking with. to me you were just another FB friend...I am honored. :)See More

9 hours ago ·LikeUnlike

Shashi Samundra Navtej jeeeeeeeeee ! you are putting ALL of us-ordinary Fb ppl- down...What have we done to dishonour you ?

ਨਵਤੇਜ ਸਿੱਧੂ ‎@Shashi Ji: I never thought any govt. related people will be on FB. You need to give respect where it is due...HB earned it. and who knows, I may have to call on him for a favor...:)

2 hours ago ·UnlikeLike · 1 personLoading...

Shashi Samundra: Yes Navtej ji, I agree abt asking favors. The whole Indian system works that way...One never knows when he/she may need the help. ATLEAST, he is the one that U'll not be able to bribe. But, then, u won't need to do it anyways;being his close Fb FRIEND !

about an hour ago ·LikeUnlike · 1 personਨਵਤੇਜ ਸਿੱਧੂ likes this.

Harcharan Bains :

Shashi ji: You do know how high an esteem I hold you in. I have always followed your posts with keein interest and generally found them remarkable for ther sanity and sobriety.

When I say ths about you, i do not mean any disrespect ...to any one else on facebook.

There are young people on face facebook -- young enough to be my children --who can truly put me on their fans list -- I really respect what they carry in ther minds and souls. I can immediately name two of them: Pukhraj Singh and Harman ( the poet) That they love me back is an unexpected and to some extent somewhat undeserved bonus. They are such pure and brilliant souls.

But Neither their love for me nor my idolising them is meant to be a disrespct to anyone else on facebook.

As for what Navtej says, in fact I am the one honoured by his comment because it gave me the much needed assurance that someone found me free from "stink" of any arrogance or fake values or vanity or stuff like that - you know what I mean.

And although it is so gracious of him to say what he says, it speaks more about his honest decency and culture than mine. And I was also so relieved that on discovering who I am ( for whatever that is worth)navtej did not welcome me with the hostility that some friends generally extend towards people in my - or similar -- position. This spoke of Navtej's own self assurance .

Simply put, I think Navtej was paying me a litle commpliment there and that to my mind was surely not meant to be a disrespect to anyone else -- least of all to you, whom I hold in such high esteem.

And in a lighter vein, Shashi ji, do allow me a little moment of good will and admiration; its rare that I get it these days, especially on facebook. That soothed my nerves, generally wracked by criticism of some extremely btter nature .

And dear Navtej, I am so honoured by your words. i will be praying I do not disappoint you ever. And Shashi JI, as for favours and bribes, fortunately for me, yyou seem to know already that both are out in my way of living. That is becasue the bribes someone in my postion has a right to expect are too precious for everyone to pay. And yet I get paid - there is no bribe more precious than love and care. I have always received these in abundance. And Navetj has already bribed me.

The favours I do are also extraordinary: I offer love before I receive it and befoire I am asked , and I never run out of doing these favours.

But if the tone of Navtej's post is heard closely, it is clear to me what favours he has in mind, and he has received those already, unasked.

As for the other kind of bribes, Shashi ji, i am so lucky no one has ever insulted me with an offer of that kind. The day someone does make an offer, i will have to look closely at myself and probably rush to some loving and caring soul to find out whats gone wrong with me.

And I promise you, Shashi ji, that I don't insult others by describing genuine help or justice as a favour. A large number of people come to me with work. Only some of them have ever expected anything other than justice out of me. i could give you concrete instances, but I wouldn't becasue that is a sacred pact between me and those who need me , and those whom I need -- on purely human basis. I put you also in the same category as mine - and I flatter myself with that thought . Regards.

4 minutes ago

Bhagat Singh: Romance unrequited

"What basic distinction do you find between the revolution Naxalites claim and the one Bhagat Singh and others ignited against Britishers?" (Sunil Sharma) None -if I could alternately join the loyal bands of each at different times and see the two movements as a member of each. Thats a harsh fact. Bhagat Singh was lucky he did not live long enough to have to face the ugliness of a dream dragged to live itself out in the dull and heartless lanes of ordinary truths. Hence the romance never died. Death eternalised our hero's frozen dream fragment and lifted it out of the market-place of institutionalized revolution. it is the sad but inevitable destiny of all revolutions that they have to ride institutional and , worse, organisational crutches. Bhagat Singh's was the great glory that belongs to every love unrequited. And Pukhraj has pointed out the additional irony of Bhagat Singh's advantage that he was not fighting a democratic government. Revolutions generally thrive on dictatorships or foreign and unrepresentative regimes. We salute Bhagat Singh's heroic martyrdom. But I shudder to think of what fate might have awaited him had he succeeded in his initial task and was made to live out the full script he was preparing. The destiny of a re-run of Russian and French Revolutions , and many others, might have awaited our young hero. Would he also have had to face a Tianaman ? Questions, questions, questions. But I would rather be a Bhagat SIngh fan and avoid these questions. It is a whole lot more comfortable that way.

Govts, revolutions and individual enterprise

1. Governments pretend to act from the heart they seldom have; revolutions pretend to be led by brains they seldom have. Both can be equally bloody in crushing individual initiative and free thought. Revolutions are even more intolerant of dissent than government are.History of all revolutions is proof of their heartlessness. And in any case, most of today's governments are nothing but yesterday's revolutions.

governments and revolutions have a vested stake in each other; each frightens the innocent people with the specter of the other.

2. Lets face it.All segments of society, including the governments, often become a part of the problem they are expected to solve. But in the absence of any alternative system, they are our best available bets. A government-- an government -- is only one of the wings of society

3. Consider the two beliefs: a. We have a problem to deal with. b. The only solution it has is the one I offer. Now, if you don't know which one of these statements in fact defines the problem, you represent the third dimension of the trouble.

Invisible tendrils of affection

My students always gave and still give me such unquestioning love. One of the greatest sources of happiness to me has been the feeling that my students could always turn to me with their most private and personal problems and expect me to stand by them even if they were found to be wrong. This faith they -- both boys and girls -- placed in me I regard as the greatest honour bestowed on me in my life. Nothing I have ever achieved compares with that honour. And in the class rooms, I could always see and feel 'invisible' tendrils of affection reaching out from their eyes to me. This is an experience anyone would gladly sacrifice his life to get. As a teacher, no cause was greater to em than the love of my students. I am what they have made of me. And when find flaws in me, I feel I need to go back to mys students to repair that. The day these fountains of love dry up, I will be no more than an effigy.

‎"You hold the love in your heart on a leash. Cut that leash, and there would be no greater saint or prophet you would ever know than yourself

She heard his voice, coming as though from afar; "I wait to wake up on a day when I will not find myself short on honesty and courage to take responsibility for my thoughts and words. Its hard to own up to the distortion my presence inflicts on the space around me. But I look to those eastern hills to reveal from behind them a dawn that will melt all distortions away and reveal a panorama that pulsates with love, honesty and daring. Till then, its an interminable age of dark that nurtures an obscure pregnancy," he said, the last words dropping like a brick into a dark, abandoned and bottomless well.

His mother watched him softly but with sharp intent. She ahd seen her son like this before. The first time it happened was immediately after he had been discovered stealing a toy plane from a rich doctor's house; the last when he had failed to turn up in time when she lay seriously ill waiting for him to arrive.

She looked at him and suddenly a gentle smile that defined awareness more than relief flitted across her delicate yet divine lips.

"These are not your thoughts," she said softly after a pause."Nor is this your voice. You stole someone else's ghosts thinking these were mock-demons you cold play with. Thats the trouble with our minds. Thats the trouble with ghosts. They soon fall in love with each other, or so did you think. Some part of you wanted these ghosts as toys;you wanted to be a haunted soul so you could rub your ego warm with pity for yourself. There was no need for this because you had everything you would have hoped for to keep you happy," she looked over his somewhat dishevelled hair far into the receding horizon. He thought she had finished as her face revealed a calm which successfully masked her pain.

But she turned her sad soft eyes towards his feet and spoke in a voice barely audible:"You think you want to be happy but the fact is that you dread happiness. It makes you feel unwanted. And it makes you feel burdened wth some gratitude towards something you don't even know. You don't want to thank life because that hurts your pride. It robs you of your chance to walk as a martyr, a chance to mock life, to mock your destiny. It deprives you of grievance by which alone you have lived. Since your childhood, you have needed a grievance to prove your innocence.You have moved as though it was a guilt to live without a grievance.You don't want to live in freedom and joy and gratitude. Gratitude. That is the real cross you dread.You have chosen unreal dark shadows for playmates. They make you feel important. Your grievance tells you you are noble and pious and innocent. Pious but wronged. Wronged because you are noble, you think. You see no other proof for the nobility in you. You don't need any, my son, because piety and you were born together and suckled at the same bosom."

He knew she was right, but he didn't want to believe her. "You speak like a saint. Besides, reality is different. Reality is not so simple. It is harsh. And I am no saint."

"Reality is simple. And it is more simple than you like to think. And innocent. And it is not harsh. And I am no saint either.No one is a saint. There is no need for anyone to be a saint. Or a prophet. There is need only to be true.There is need only not to stop loving. I speak what I see. I am not in a suicidal league with ghosts and the shadows of my fears," she paused, and this time he knew she hadn't finished yet.

"But everyone is saint and everyone needs to know that. That is the only reason we go to saints; so that they may turn us into saints. And what do they do to make that possible. They tell us to stop trying to be saints or trying to be anything. They know we are saints, and they know we will know it too the moment we stop trying."

He found that her hand was already resting gently upon his.

"Never consider or call anyone a saint. That is nothing but your protection against believing in your own saintliness. You can never recognise a saint if there is no saint in you to recognise in the other. When you call someone a saint or a prophet, you are actually buying a clever inusrance against the need to be good yourself. The only way to know a saint is to awaken the one you have sent to sleep withn yourself. That saint alone can truthfully recognsie and address another as a saint. But then, he will recognsie a saint in everyone. "

There was a pregnant silence between the mother and the son. She could see that he was still grappling with phantoms.

"There is so much love in your heart that you really need to hide it so that your mock demons may continue to play with you. That love is the only saint that ever was and is and ever wil be. If he is not put on a leash, these play mates run away. Cut that leash, and there would be no greater saint or prophet you would ever know greater than yourself."

(Contd.)

Students and I

( In response to a Pukhraj post on Facebook)

I was always very lucky with my teachers, right from childhood up to now. Despite my being a disorganized kind of a clumsy student ( which I still am -- I mean both clumsy and a student) , they showered me with so much love and care that I still feel overwhelmed by the debt of gratitude I owe each one of them. I can not think of a teacher who did not love me despite my obvious failings. I tried to repay some of this by transferring all my love on to my students once I became a teacher. I developed a life long romance with them and this keeps me going in my saddest and loneliest hours even today. My students have always meant a lot to me and much of what I learnt in life is thanks to them. It is a love affair beyond the need of assurances. When I met you the other day, I felt a resurgence of the warmest feelings in me, and I knew immediately I have found another student who will teach me a lot in life . ( I had the same feeling some months ago when young poet Harman came over to meet me - - a tender lilac in my backyard)

With such wealth thrown into my lap, do I really need to lust for anything in life. I am not any the less corrupt than any of the guys you know in politics. Only, the possessions I lust for are different from theirs. And mine are for ever -such as none can take away from me. I sit in my parlour and cherish these gems, and bless life that it has given me such rare gifts without my having to shed a drop of sweat for them. In a way, I am the luckiest of the corrupt.

Sometimes i pray that these ambitious people I see may never have the wisdom to discover to discover what they are missing for fear that they would then turn towards me and snatch my treasures. But the next moment I smile in the knowledge that the gems I possess will not allow themselves to be taken away from me. I think I am cleverer than the worldly folks there too: I have opted for immortal treasures while theirs are ever so ephemeral.

Analysis and Understanding --

Analysis and Understanding --

by Harcharan Bains on Thursday, February 24, 2011 at 11:50am

(In response to a query by Gurbrinder on "strings to fragrance" note

Questions are always more exhilarating than the quiet bliss of understanding. I passed through this exhilarating stage early on in my graduation years. Then, I would find myself in disagreement with all established truths or everything that was spoken in my presence or all symbols of authority. As a stage, it was a necessary stage, and even enjoyable. It made me feel special when even an authority on Shakespeare would be struck dumb by the barrage of questions that my ignorance would throw at him. I look back at that phase in my progress with amusement -- and forgive myself and move on.

No end to questions, if the idea is not to understand but to analyse -- even honestly analyse. To a mother, a child is not a biological fact, but an emotional truth. She accepts it and in her acceptance finds peace and happiness that you and I can not even understand. I can spend donkey's years in trying to convince her that there are others more worthy of her love than her child, but the one who needs help in that case would be me , not her.

In simple words, if we want to understand something, we will find understnading cruising to us on the wings of breeze. But if we have a pre-wired penchant forsomething other than understanding, nature will help us in achieving that too, but at the cost of understanding. Street smartness and wisdom are different things, and both have their merits. But one must not be confused with the other.

And now please , let us not start another smart debate on "how can one understrand without asking the right questions." We know , we know.

Beware the obvious

Hidden somewhere in the obvious lies the truth that will not yield itself to normal vision. Generally speaking, the obvious is the most misleading. Light is the most invisible thing in the universe. It illuminates everything but if you could see light, you would see nothing that it illuminates.Light will fall as a wall between you and what you wan to see. Beware the obvious.

Reveal innocence behind the awesome

At some level, a genius owes it to us make it easier for others to enjoy her brilliance.its the job of a master to make difficult things simple, to reveal innocence behind the awesome, to show the boundless ocean as water transparent, totranslate whirlwind as breeze in a swirl. Nanak, Farid, Kabir, Ravidas,Namdev, Bhai Veer Singh and others in this line are great examples,as are Wordsworth and Shakespeare.

And, Pukhraj, I wouldn't say it to anyone who didn't have something truly profound in him to make simple.

Innocence vandalised

One of the important duties I have towards myself is to beware rancour creeping stealthily into my heart, watch when love that I believe to be strong begins to leak away, when things about myself that I do not think are true begin to be true, when my innocence is vandalised by my dislike of calumny and when mirror outrages my self-belief and resembles a face that I never liked on others.

In any landscape, there will be gardens and garbage dumps. Neither can be wished away. As human beings, we have to accept both our ability to dream and our ability to fight garbage-dumps as a twin blessing. A morbid aversion to dreams and an equally morbid obsession with muck hardly reflect a healthy mind.

Two dialogues from Hazel

Let's walk a few steps in the silence of the night, broken mildly by the music of stars. The velvety air will kiss our wounds dry.

My fear is that those whom I cherish like the breath in my body would be the ones to react with such sensitivity. And thats a great pity, and a tragic paradox.

Let this divine dialogue continue. Stars are listening in.

Aloft the easterly breeze

"What a magnificent corner of univrse is glowing here! I strolled in here born aloft an easterly breeze - and go out, having bathed as if in some invisible but overpowering glow."

Hazel's son to her

In my college days, when Left briefly fascinated me, I used to find almost nothing right in almost everything, especially in governments and politicians. During my second year as a college lecturer, my mother asked me to try this test. " For every one thing that you criticise in others in a day, name one good that you did before going to sleep that very day." The number of things I criticised went down dramatically.

20 minutes ag

Hazel:No two prophets have the same vision of truth but all prophets are moved the same way by their different visions

Listening to his passionate discourse, she became strangely sombre and was quiet long after he had finished. He was beginning to feel he had spoken something to offend her. "You haven't'" she assured him. She was only worried that truth and love to her son had come to mean items and data. Truth and love were making nothing happen to him. And yet, he was obsessed with proving something about them with his brilliant arguments. And this she thought took him farther and farther away from understanding and experiencing truth.

A silence walked between the mother and her son but it was not a silence that spoke nothing. Already, he was feeling the impact of something reaching out to him from the depths of her being. Her silence had words though it had never needed any.

He moved closer to her but his eyes were still not meeting hers. She saw him twiddling his thumbs. Slowly, gently, her hand moved towards his, and she held it with gentle firmness. Slowly, she pulled him closer till once again, he lay in her lap, eyes closed, his mind still restless with thoughts he did not understand. He was sure she will lead him out of this strange disturbing certainty -- a certainty which felt more turbulent than his occasional doubts. He felt invisible tendrils of compassion and love reaching out to him from distant worlds. But he knew it was his mother, sitting so close to him and yet seeming so large her presence stretched from horizon to horizon.

Suddenly, a half forgotten memory of a dream he had dreamt the previous night began to crawl over him. The dream had followed him in different shapes since his adolescence. He had a vague memory that the previous night, he had seen a charioteer standing in the middle of ignorant armies, a smile across his lips - a smile that on anyone else would have looked so out of place in the midst of loud sounds of clashing swords and conches and bugles and war cries and yet, with this charioteer, the smile looked to be the only natural response to the scene in front of and around him. He looked so blissful.

Soon, the dream melted away, and he saw his mother's face re-emerge out of a dim relief. She seemed silent but he heard, as he had often heard , the forest speak to him. The forest spoke in his mother's voice but its words were its own

"Truth is an experience, " he heard the forest say, " as is love too." And then, after a pause, he was not sure who was speakin to him , his mother or the forest. " Truth and love are pure and absolute. They wouldn't exist in zones of doubts and uncertainties. It is impossible to think of uncertain love or doubtful truth. They are relative in that , though absolute, they would be experienced differently by different people. No two prophets have the same vision of reality but all prophets are moved the same way by their different visions. Each would invent his own symbolisms but all would have the same mystical experience."

'Mamma' he thought for while. But it was not his mother's voice only though it was saying what she would also say. But no, she never speaks like this. She is simple, clear like a rivulet, child-like in her profound wisdom.

He looked at her, their eyes met for a second, and then he hid his face in her lap. " What is right for me, Mamma." She did not reply but kept moving her fingers through her son's handsome hair.

Thoughts from an early morning walk

I generally distinguish between a person and his politics. To me, the human being in a person comes first. If someone fits my description of a genuinely warm, cultured and humble person, I can overlook a lot in his politics. There are quite a few among the political opponents of the government I am a part of whom I genuinely admire and share very decent relationship with. I do not know why my sister or my son can not hold political views different from mine and yet be loved by me. Sadly, I sometimes find this distinction missing in political discourses these days. A difference of opinion need not snatch away my right to love. Conversely, my love for someone need not mean that we must have the same political aligment.

The most important thing in life is not agreeing but loving. What applies to our political views unfortunately applies also to our religious beliefs. There is too much hatred in what passes for religious convictions. Words like dushat, kaafir, patit, apostate etc. reveal more hatred than religion. But unfortunately, these are the words that have come to dominate our religious discourses.

These thoughts sometimes hurt my lonely hours

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Thoughts from an early morning walk

I generally distinguish between a person and his politics. To me, the human being in a person comes first. If someone fits my description of a genuinely warm, cultured and humble person, I can overlook a lot in his politics. There are quite a few among the political opponents of the government I am a part of whom I genuinely admire and share very decent relationship with. I do not know why my sister or my son can not hold political views different from mine and yet be loved by me. Sadly, I sometimes find this distinction missing in political discourses these days. A difference of opinion need not snatch away my right to love. Conversely, my love for someone need not mean that we must have the same political aligment.

The most important thing in life is not agreeing but loving. What applies to our political views unfortunately applies also to our religious beliefs. There is too much hatred in what passes for religious convictions. Words like dushat, kaafir, patit, apostate etc. reveal more hatred than religion. But unfortunately, these are the words that have come to dominate our religious discourses.

These thoughts sometimes hurt my lonely hours

· · Share · Delete

Thoughts from an early morning walk

I generally distinguish between a person and his politics. To me, the human being in a person comes first. If someone fits my description of a genuinely warm, cultured and humble person, I can overlook a lot in his politics. There are quite a few among the political opponents of the government I am a part of whom I genuinely admire and share very decent relationship with. I do not know why my sister or my son can not hold political views different from mine and yet be loved by me. Sadly, I sometimes find this distinction missing in political discourses these days. A difference of opinion need not snatch away my right to love. Conversely, my love for someone need not mean that we must have the same political aligment.

The most important thing in life is not agreeing but loving. What applies to our political views unfortunately applies also to our religious beliefs. There is too much hatred in what passes for religious convictions. Words like dushat, kaafir, patit, apostate etc. reveal more hatred than religion. But unfortunately, these are the words that have come to dominate our religious discourses.

These thoughts sometimes hurt my lonely hours

· · Share · Delete

Thoughts from an early morning walk

I generally distinguish between a person and his politics. To me, the human being in a person comes first. If someone fits my description of a genuinely warm, cultured and humble person, I can overlook a lot in his politics. There are quite a few among the political opponents of the government I am a part of whom I genuinely admire and share very decent relationship with. I do not know why my sister or my son can not hold political views different from mine and yet be loved by me. Sadly, I sometimes find this distinction missing in political discourses these days. A difference of opinion need not snatch away my right to love. Conversely, my love for someone need not mean that we must have the same political aligment.

The most important thing in life is not agreeing but loving. What applies to our political views unfortunately applies also to our religious beliefs. There is too much hatred in what passes for religious convictions. Words like dushat, kaafir, patit, apostate etc. reveal more hatred than religion. But unfortunately, these are the words that have come to dominate our religious discourses.

These thoughts sometimes hurt my lonely hours

· · Share · Delete