HAZEL: NOTHING WILL BE ACHIEVED BY WINNING ARGUMENTS; WIN HEARTS. IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO WIN HEARTS, LOVE AND BE RIGHTEOUS ANYWAY.

IF YOU ARE RIGHTEOUS AND NOT POPULAR, YOU WILL STILL BE LOVED BY THOSE WHO SHOULD LOVE YOU. BUT IF YOU ARE POPULAR BUT NOT RIGHTEOUS, IT SIMPLY DOES NOT MATTER WHO LOVES YOU . NOTHING WILL BE ACHIEVED BY WINNING ARGUMENTS; WIN HEARTS. IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO WIN HEARTS, LOVE AND BE RIGHTEOUS ANYWAY.



(TO MY SON, IN PUBLIC) )

"WHEN EYES ARE BLOODSHOT ........

"If you react angrily, or at least least with rude truthfulness,you are arrogant. if you react with humility, you are diplomatic, honey coated. if you dont't react at all, you have nothing to say. If you point to people cringing for small favours before the very people they criticise , ( not for " for getting justice, but for seeking small favours") well, you are defending the people before whom they are cringing. . if you , who are not even powerful , are asked to grant the same favours and you do not do it, ( as you certainly would not ) then you are not willing to use your position for others' benefit. If you use it, you are misusing your authority to promote favourites . And you have no right to see any good in the person you are working with and you must be guided by other people's opinion of him Do your job, if you must, of promoting the person some others dislike , though they declare they do not know him enough --do your dirty job, get paid, shut up and get lost. If you happen to love the man you work with, keep it to yourself.

If you find any contradictions in what others , especially those more learned than you , say, then just remember those charming lines:

'Naaz-o-andaaz se kehte hain ke jeena hoga/
Zehar bhi dete hain to kehte hain ke peena hoga./
Gar main jeeta hoon to kehte hain ke marta bhi nahin/
Gar main marta hoon to kehte hain ke jeena hoga./

"And if you venture to engage in a polite discussion with the learned, be ready to be asked questions from those who have already pronounced the judgement , closed the issue and declared that they have already said all that there was to be said on the subject. And yet you will be required to answer the questions. And be ready to be told you are defending the corrupt because you are with the corrupt.If you are not corrupt and nobody can prove you are and you can prove that you are not, worse is your misfortune. No questions asked , and no answers sought . Don't protest too much, anyway. When confronted with angry opinions, do not inisist on data or evidence in support of those opinions, because opinions generally are autonomous, soveriegn creatures, data is the last refuge of the unsure and the insecure. If you know something, why do you need pedestrian tools like evidence or data to prove it to others? And why must you ahve to prove it to others anyway? Is your knowing something not enough of a reason for others to believe in it ? If it is not, do you really think your data will succeed where you have failed? Weaker the reason and evidence, stronger the opinion.

This, my son, is one way to respond to the world. This can win you an argument.

But there is another. And this is a path followed by those who dare to love. This can win you hearts.

"When eyes are bloodshot, vision is narrow, said someone. Inspite of this, forget the bitterness and avoid sarcasm, that sore which pleases as it slowly kills. Just respect the opinionated. And above all, my son, don't give up on patience and hope in the ultimate sanity of human species. Do not give up on love, because it is your thing and has little or nothing to do with those you love. Persist with your faith in the eventual triumph of truth which transcends geogrraphical boudnaries and does not allow any monopolistic , properietary rights to an country, India or the USA. Girls will be raped in India as well as in Ameria and Paksitan and elsewhere. Do not be heartless enough to reduce it to a matter of statistics --more in one country less in the other. A rape is a cosmic trauma -- and to one has to take it. ANd to her, it is small consolation to know in which country it happens less and by what by what percentage. Ditto for murders, corruption, dishonesty. There will foddergates in India and watergates elsewhere. Presidents and Prime Minisiters will use their postions to sexually abuse their secretaries in Dubai or Delhi or Detroit , on Jan Path or in houses famous for their whiteness. Don't be misled by numbers. Sin and virtue are not about numbers. It is about how strongly your mind revolts against these. It is not about proving a point; it is about being senstivie to the pain and horror of untruth and injsutice and suffering and pain. Does your heart cry out in pain at the sight of injustice and suffering, or do you merely reduce to one more argument in your pet thesis. And do your hands and legs obey your angusihsed heart and run to help those who need it, or do you merely tabulate it into data for the next seminar or TV talk show?

Look carefully within yourself, for that is the only place from where all answers come. If there is love in your heart, and compassion and the willingness to get up and do something to change what you don't like , you will hear a voice within your heart answering all your questions with single loving gesture. Instead of merely soothing your conscience by criticising others for what you find unacceptable in the world, you will get up and start an effort, however small or weak, to change it.

And nothing will be achieved by winning arguments; win hearts.