Saturday, May 3, 2014

The man I could have been

The world is no excuse for who and what and the way I am. The man I was born to be, the man I wanted to be, the man I could have been, the man I ended up being, the man I am, the man I still want to be, the man I would perhaps end up being, and the man I should be but won't be: in all this , there is no place for the man I was forced to become. (In the end, I could be forced to become only what I didn't have the courage or strength to resist:the world is no excuse for who and what I am.) I lack the courage to measure the damage surroundings inflicted on me with the damage I inflicted on surroundings and the damage I might have inflicted on myself. I know I will lose the argument there. Like Oscar Wilde, I know I was and often am punished for the sins I never committed, but then, I also know that there far more serious sins I committed and have never been punished for. I accept the package, fro refusing it would mean certain loss.

For whatever and whoever I am , I take responsibility. That is the first step on the journey to be what I still want to be.

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