On a day like this...

" It was on a day like this. And I hadn't expected it to be any different from other November days. But the mist that hung across the early morning eastern horizon held something sinister beneath its frozen indifference. All these years, every single day of those years, I had seen my mother up very close. She had lived a long and tragic life but I had seen her square up dark adversity with fortitude that often reminded me of Synge's Maurya. There was no bitterness in her. In fact, the more she battled against adversity, the more was the love she shared with others -- everyone in the family, everyone in the village -- even those who were the cause of much that she had to suffer in life. I never heard my mother utter a single unpleasant word against anyone in her life.The poorest of the poor, the so called 'low caste'', their elders, youngsters, children, ladies -- everyone could and did come to her for warmth. And mother never ran out of it. No one else in the village too could recall if she had ever been seen upset with anyone. And yet, there was this private ghost I was fighting all my life with her. I had stayed very close to her - physically, emotionally, every which way every single day of my life. All this while, even when we laughed together, there was one thing that weighed on me like lead. And I believed it weighed on her mind too though she never allowed a trace of it to appear on her face. I knew that despite her courage and adorable strength, there was one blow she wouldn't be able to take. She could withstand everything. She had withstood everything. And with quiet courage. But this one? Every time I thought deeply about how it would affect her, I was filled with even greater dread. The more I dreaded the blow, the more real it became. And more inevitable.I knew that if that happened, mother would quietly turn towards us and say, "I have seen it all. Its time to go." And it happened. And she went -- as quietly as she had lived. Even after the blow fell, she stayed in control-- till her last responsibility as mother towards my eldest brother had been performed. And then, in a single moment of unspeakable pain, she made the announcement. There was nothing dramatic about it. It was as if she was telling us she is going for a little nap. Within hours, we lost her. Life has never been the same after that"......